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A new side effect of grief


Something I’ve learnt recently is that at nearly three years that my body is still processing grief and finding ways to tell me when I’m struggling.

I noticed not long after my husband died that I was getting what looked like a flashing light above my eyes while in the dark. It didn’t last for long but it was happening. I’d also just been told that I had floaters in my eyes as well.
So they flashing continued but only a handful of times. I get to January this year and am having a really bad time around my husbands birthday. And one night Blackpool illuminations kicks off abouve my eyes and in the centre of my forehead.
I get seen by an optometrist that week who told me that my retina was fine. Apparently it is also a sign that there might of been an issue there. But the fact that I’m still so new on the grief journey and that it was around his birthday that it happened. It was my body telling me it was struggling and basically shouting for help.

Now I know my body’s been through a lot. But if I’m honest I didn’t know fully all the potential effects grief could have on me. And for it to still be affecting me so far past him dying.

So because I have both floaters and flashes now in my eyes and cream I have to use for dry eye. I’ve now realised I’m having to use sunglasses more even on the not so bright days. I’m looking for a decent pair now that I’ll have to carry constantly with me.

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