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About me


Hi my name is Kerry, a thirty something battling mental health issues and the loss of her husband and who is now just trying to find my way.


Back story – I got diagnosed just over six years ago with depression, anxiety and ocd. After suffering i didn’t know what through out school and college. There is only so many times things happen (rituals happen) thoughts go round in your head before you think it’s “normal”
After 9 hard months I lost my husband of just under 6 years to brain cancer. To say I feel his loss is understated. It doesn’t feel like it was over a year ago. He fought the bravest of fights – for the second time in his life and this time it was just to much.
I’m starting this blog to help get my thoughts out. I will be reviewing products and writing about my mental health as it happens. Or thoughts /questions that persist


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Self care during the good and bad days

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Not in the best head space.

So turns out I’ve been battling a mental health episode for at least a three months if not longer and I haven’t been aware. Before anyone questions why I didn’t know what was happening it’s because I typically don’t see what’s happening until I’m at a point that someone goes “WE NEED YOU TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE” It builds up slowly and manifests to a point that I’m really in a negative head space. I’ve learnt this time and the hard way that everything that I thought was happening wasn’t. It was my anxiety and grief having a fight off and I was the looser. Not to forget the ruminations of things that might happen or I might do ( some of those thoughts are hard ) Insomnia Panic that I’m seeing things out corner of my eye that aren’t there Negative thoughts - not good enough etc  Real bouts of sadness Not really wanting to eat - snacking  Racing heart Believing things are wrong with me when they aren’t  Those are only a few of the things that I have been dealing wit...
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If this week has taught me anything

If this week has taught me anything it’s that the grief monster can hit at any time and totally floor you. That three years feel like just yesterday. And that there is people around to give a hug when needed. So last night in the midst of volunteering it hit me like a ton of bricks. The tears started and it took me a long time to proper calm myself. I’d manage to tell the coach right at the start of the night that i was struggling and that it had been a hard week. That it felt like just yesterday that he’d died and not nearly three years. I’m lucky with the fact that the coach I work with also was my husbands coach so that in itself is a help. I’d managed one class and was more than half way through the second when a shot I threw was called rubbish and one look to the other lady that coaches with me and I was a mess. If I hadn’t of already been sitting on the floor I think I might of ended up there. Luckily for me she also knows my history and shouted on the main coach who got to me...
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