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Not in the best head space.


So turns out I’ve been battling a mental health episode for at least a three months if not longer and I haven’t been aware. Before anyone questions why I didn’t know what was happening it’s because I typically don’t see what’s happening until I’m at a point that someone goes “WE NEED YOU TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE” It builds up slowly and manifests to a point that I’m really in a negative head space.
I’ve learnt this time and the hard way that everything that I thought was happening wasn’t. It was my anxiety and grief having a fight off and I was the looser. Not to forget the ruminations of things that might happen or I might do ( some of those thoughts are hard )
  • Insomnia
  • Panic that I’m seeing things out corner of my eye that aren’t there
  • Negative thoughts - not good enough etc 
  • Real bouts of sadness
  • Not really wanting to eat - snacking 
  • Racing heart
  • Believing things are wrong with me when they aren’t 
Those are only a few of the things that I have been dealing with that I am aware of. I know there is others but to actually identify them I’m gonna have to work through and work out what’s what. 
I know I’ve really not been looking after myself great and that even some of the simplest of tasks have taken effort. 
This foggy time / black mood has been one of the harder battles to go through and I’m not fully outta it. It feels like this one will be a while on top of what I’ve already been through. And to be honest I really am mentally tired.

I’ve been told they don’t want to change my meds yet but there is scope if they feel I need it. 


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