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Nearly 3 years of this new life


A lot has happened this week that has made me have to fight my corner and yet feel so alone. It should of been his birthday this week and that day in itself was hard because this year so far has been the hardest year since I lost him.
I’ve had to pull someone up for the way that they were talking to me. Turns out they thought I had a thing for them. I just needed him to understand how the way he was around me was doing more damage  than good. I just need friends, new or old.
It really does feel like I have this label above me and that everyday I have to explain it to myself and other people that yes I am a widow and that it will effect how I’m treated but it isn’t who I am. I’m just me. Kerry,  35 and fighting everyday just to be seen for me.
I never chose this new life. This life chose me. The life where every day sometimes more than once a day it is a fight even just to get through. For all though it is nearly three years it feels like yesterday.  I can feel alone in the busiest of rooms and not even find the words to explain that all I want to do is just cry and get a hug.
As this week draws to a thankful end. I’m reminded that i do have to fight for me. Sometimes harder than other. And at a cost to my health because I just want to be seen. And not for the fact that I became a widow in my early 30s

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