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Thoughts going into 2019

Well as the New Year fast approaches I’ve been thinking about what it means for me. What the last year has brought me, what I’ve gone through. And what this next year brings.

2018 has shown me that mental health can cost you your savings when you aren’t able to work. It has pushed me to my limits and made me question myself so many times. Yet after all that I’m still standing. A little dented but here.
This last year has brought the start of my art being something. I don’t know where it will take me next year but let’s see. Hopefully the self doubt will not hold me back.
It has been my thing through out the year, the thing that would take me away from the negative thoughts.

2019 will hopefully mean work of some sort. I’ve not been mentally fit till now - I’m not fully there yet but I need to get an income in.
I hope that I can get more of a better understanding of what I can and can’t do and to realise when I need to take time for me and look after myself. My mental health will not control me. It’s just what I have to live with. Maybe this year my meds will be reduced ?

Maybe just maybe my art will go somewhere. The self doubt I have in what I can do will not hold me back in showing my pieces. I’ve never believed that my art was good enough. Hopefully this new year will change that.
My want to exercise will hopefully find a need this next year. Maybe just maybe that might change. I’ve never been sporty. Never gone outta my way to exercise.
If I hear one more person tell me that I need to loose weight that it’ll be good for me I’m gonna scream. You never know maybe in 2019 I’ll find the strength to tell those people to be quiet and stop putting me down about the way I am. And to not put there own weight hang ups on me. ( fingers crossed )

I take this new year as it comes and approach the challenges it throws at me like I have done before. I may have mental health issues, I may have low self esteem, I may not truly believe in what I’m capable of doing. BUT I do know that this new year can’t be as hard as the last and it tried its hardest to break me. But I came through it broken in places and a little fragile in others. I stand tall going forward.

(and you never know, that person might see past everything and want to get to know me for me ? )

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.

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