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S.A.D

Seasonal Affective Disorder  https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/



The ‘winter’ depression that effects approximately 1 in 15 people, and can add me as one of the people.
Don’t get me wrong I love this time of year. But the darker nights and the darker for longer mornings are horrible.
For so many years I didn’t know why I felt the way I did. It wasn’t till a few years ago did I fully understand why for the tail end of each year I felt so low and had no energy.
My sweet tooth would get worse as I lost myself in the negative thoughts in my head. Some nights would be harder than others and I would get reliant on sweet foods to ‘help’
The motivation to do anything is hard. Waking up to a dark room and trying to convince your brain that it is indeed morning and that you have to get up and get work done is hard. And even concentrating is an issue with things taking longer than usual. Going out at night sends my anxiety into a spin. I don’t like not seeing what’s around me. So most nights it’s just me in front of the tv or on my tablet communicating with the outside world without leaving the space I know.
Sleep during the winter months is always affected more than normal. I may get to sleep and if I was to say to someone that I get 7 + hours, It would be seen as a decent amount of sleep. But that nights sleep could be a broken night with waking feeling like I’ve only had a couple of hours. That sluggish feeling never leaves. With some days being harder than others.

I take medication anyway, so during the winter months I add a sad light to my routine

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lumie-Bodyclock-Starter-Wake-Up-Features/dp/B002TEXEAI/ref=sr_1_5_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1540407498&sr=8-5&keywords=Sad+light

( I lost my way with it for a couple of years, not using it like I should. My grief took its toll on me and my mental health )

Scrap the light, I’ve tried it for a few nights now and it’s not working at the correct time at night or in the morning.

I have never been sporty / athletic heck keen on any kinda sport but I know it will help if I even make the time to go out for a walk each day. But the motivation, energy, enthusiasm will be the fight every day.
I can already feel my mood changing and not for the good. I will try anything to win the battle of the dark months.

EDIT: it turns out that you can be going through one of the worst seasons and still no truly identify it as S.A.D until your dr turns round and says but that is the symptoms of it. Do you them go YEH so it is. It’s not because of the meds not fully. It’s about suffering through this last month feeling so deflated and have no energy to go with it to then realise that it’s actually seasonal affective disorder that is making you not want to do anything. Be out of character with close family,and just not have the want to do anything related to Christmas.
The battle with this kinda mental health issue is hard because  you dread the winter months coming because you know your mood is gonna take a huge hit. And until your in it and you or someone else around you can realise the signs it feels so lonely.

So yeh I’m having one of the worst seasons that I can remember and I’m fighting through. Trying to remember that the nights will change soon enough.

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