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72 hrs - mental health


To say that the last 72 hrs have been majorly triggering is an understatement.

I went north to Aberdeen for my sister in-laws wedding. It was a weekend of firsts and a weekend that showed me how things really are.

The following are examples of tweets that I put out over the two hardest days

“ I’ve not even left the surroundings of my own village and my anxieties are already kicking off”

 “ ocd thoughts of no one will ever want to be with you because of your mental health and you know it’s gonna be a long train ride “

 “ the tightness in the chest, the fear, the anxiety of knowing what’s coming. I’m 30min out to it all starting and turns out that’s enough time for everything to properly start in full.”

 “I look at the scars on my arm and ankle and hope that I dont follow through with adding to them”

 “ it’s not on my terms. I’m not in control”

 “ I wanna be sick. Have to speak but want to cry. Just want to be held”

 “Wired, and not in a good way. There has been tears. #anxious is understatement. I’m now lost in thoughts”

 “1,2,3 1,2,3 1,2,3 putting a fake smile on when your dying inside. I expect you to come through the door. Anxiety is gonna spike and my fidget levels are building “

 “ the mental crash that is happening is hard. Am I coping? I’ve learnt to put a good face on. Do I need a hug? Most definitely “

How did I cope ? I honestly don’t know. I feel mentally drained. I didn’t get any official photographs. Lost out on part of the service and went to bed early.
Is it fair ? No. Is it life ? Yes

My mental health shows it’s self in many forms and I’m sure I saw near enough all over the last few days. ( watch me get proven wrong this week, when new signs / thoughts / triggers kick me off ) but it’s part of what makes me me. I’ve cried until i thought I couldn’t anymore. Been angry. And felt all the emotions under the sun. But it’s life and it goes on,


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