please excuse if the following text doesn’t make sense. I wanted to capture what it was like while in an attack.
I walk into the pub and the anxiety just hits me like a run of bricks. (I’d been fine right up until I got into the pub)
The racing heart with over riding fear. Make it to the toilets and hide. The overriding urge to just lock myself in a cubicle and ride it out or just to try get out the toilets and leave the building.
Restling with thoughts of everyone is looking at me and that I’m not good enough wash over me. The fear of judgement. The inner battle feels like it’s gonna end up like a war and the battle sides are being drawn.
I eventually make it out the toilet but walking into the main part of the building, where all the people are is makes my legs start to shake. The feelings of anxiety are building to such a point I think it’s gonna end up a panic attack and that makes the fear more. I try to find a place where I’m sitting away from everyone else but close enough to the bar that I don’t have to go very far. If you’ve heard of restless legs or have had it, that xs 100 is what I’m feeling now. I so want to hide but I need to order food.
I’ve got so good at hiding how I’m feelin that although I feel like my whole body is shaking (which it’s not ) I manage to order and sit down. And let the build up start. My legs are constantly going and my head is telling me all eyes are on me and that I’m being judged.
Unease, tension, anxious, judgement. The build up of energy that is like a fizzy bottle that still has the lid on and is about to pop.
My head is constantly telling me that everyone is looking and that I’m being judged. That they think I’m putting it on. Or that I can’t walk very far without getting out of breath.
I walk into the pub and the anxiety just hits me like a run of bricks. (I’d been fine right up until I got into the pub)
The racing heart with over riding fear. Make it to the toilets and hide. The overriding urge to just lock myself in a cubicle and ride it out or just to try get out the toilets and leave the building.
Restling with thoughts of everyone is looking at me and that I’m not good enough wash over me. The fear of judgement. The inner battle feels like it’s gonna end up like a war and the battle sides are being drawn.
I eventually make it out the toilet but walking into the main part of the building, where all the people are is makes my legs start to shake. The feelings of anxiety are building to such a point I think it’s gonna end up a panic attack and that makes the fear more. I try to find a place where I’m sitting away from everyone else but close enough to the bar that I don’t have to go very far. If you’ve heard of restless legs or have had it, that xs 100 is what I’m feeling now. I so want to hide but I need to order food.
I’ve got so good at hiding how I’m feelin that although I feel like my whole body is shaking (which it’s not ) I manage to order and sit down. And let the build up start. My legs are constantly going and my head is telling me all eyes are on me and that I’m being judged.
Unease, tension, anxious, judgement. The build up of energy that is like a fizzy bottle that still has the lid on and is about to pop.
My head is constantly telling me that everyone is looking and that I’m being judged. That they think I’m putting it on. Or that I can’t walk very far without getting out of breath.
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