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Moving to a new flat without you (edited)


It has been the hardest thing to think about. The fact that I would be moving out the place we had for seven years and the next place wouldn’t have you in it. For as much as I didn’t want to go back to our place because of the paramedics it was still our place.
I have been looking but every place I looked just didn’t feel right. Maybe just maybe I might of found somewhere and that scares me. Being on my own again and not waking up beside you fills my heart with so much sadness. Making sure you had everything as you left for work each morning will never happen again. This place is just gonna be me.
For as much as I have had people around me everyday since you died the thought of it just being me, I don’t feel strong.

Some of your stuff is still around. Going through it has taken time. Some would say I should of done it sooner and moved out of our place. How can anybody say how long something should take?

Putting just my products in the bathroom, only making meals for one. My heart is so heavy.

To the new life chapter without you physically being here.

Edit : I never thought that I’d have to fight so hard to convince family that one places was better than another. Yes yesterday’s place was immaculate and you could move in straight away. But today’s was bigger room wise and wasn’t so close to where I used to live. Yes today’s needs a dam good clean (single man in before me) but it felt like somewhere I could be without being constantly reminded that I’ve lost him. Yesterday’s flat was within throwing distance of the old place.
I’m surprised that some people don’t seem so enthusiastic about it.

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