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I miss being part of a couple


For a long time before I met my late husband I never was with anyone. The negative thoughts of no one would ever want to be with me etc etc were always going through my head. Seeing other people together but not believing that I could be with someone and be as happy.
It took a long time for J to realise that he wanted to be with me. We had been friends for so long before (all our friends seeing what was happening, J couldn’t - men !)
To finally yes I’m with someone, “my boyfriend” always put a smile on my face because 1. Someone actually saw me for me and liked what he saw and 2. The guy that all the girls liked chose me.

20 + years of knowing each other. 5 years of being bf + gf and 6 years married. I miss him. I miss doing stupid stuff like sitting watching a film or having breakfast. And more so as it nears his two year anniversary I miss being held by him. Getting a kiss from him.
To go from doing everything together to it now just being me it hurts. I miss our life, what could / should of been. Yet he was taken long before his time.
Ticking the box of widowed instead of married hurts every time. And is a constant reminder that he has gone. And I’m no longer part of a couple. A thing that used to make me so happy.

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