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Having no place to talk


Out with family there is no place to talk about my grief and mental health. I’ve been let down by support that i tried to get when John died. And the mental health side apart from psychology and psychiatry (which will be ending soon) there is no place for me to turn. If I have a bad day I’m on my own as I don’t always open up to family about it. There is no place that I can get in touch and speak to someone or some place to go that I don’t have to explain when I just want a place to be but not have to speak.
I reached out and got the initial appointment to speak to someone after John died but even that was after a considerable wait. Then no one got back in touch. That was nearly two years ago. I did speak to someone at McMillan about it but it didn’t feel like I got a lot of it. The fact that they’d known him in some respects didn’t help. I feel like talking about it now just makes everyone either sad or just acknowledge me for so long. There is days when I just want to shout it loud. I’m a widow and have been for two years.
Fear of being judged about my mental health plays a factor in a lot of things. I am open with the fact that I do suffer and that it’s part of me but you can just see that initial look in peoples eyes of oh what do I say now? To have someplace to be open about my health and struggles would be great and be around people that know what it’s like and not have them judge me when I say I’m not able to do something. Yes I have mental health, yes I want to talk about it but is anyone willing to listen?

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