Skip to main content

Grief

“Another Friday. Another week gone. Another week further away from the last time we saw her. Every week I feel a bit stronger, but each week I miss her more” Simon Thomas

It’s two years next month for me and what’s written up sums up really well how I feel. There has been so much happen since the last time we saw J, so much that he would of been right in the middle of without a doubt.
It only feels like yesterday that he died. When he first died although it was expected it was on his term so it was quick. He told us when. The loss of someone that held us all together hit us all. He was supposed to be here annoying us all with his stupid impressions but he wasn’t.  I say it all the time but if I wasn’t on my medication it could of been a whole different story as to how I coped. But it helped, and I’m not afraid to say that I am on medication for my mental health that is helping with the grief as well.
The feeling of being alone is horrible. Loosing your soul mate is hard. So many things planned yet cut abruptly short. The nights hardest. When the thoughts / fears take over and you have no one to talk to about it. So you are in an empty flat that should be filled with happiness but feels like there is a dark cloud over it.
Lost in your thoughts of your loss and the anxiety and depression that are trying to rear there heads again it feels like a vicious circle that you can’t get out of. When you don’t know what way to turn or how the 1sts will make you feel. When baby steps / day by day become your words. When life goes on for everyone but you want to just stand and scream and say what about me, what about J ?? I should have my partner with me. He should be beside me.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Self care during the good and bad days

So something I've learnt over the last 6 1/2 years since being diagnosed and the death of my husband that self care really helps during the good and bad times. Over this time I have tried many things and found what does and doesn't work for me.  https://www.thebodyshop.com/en-gb/range/view-all/tea-tree-skin-clearing-facial-wash/p/p000039 This stuff has been great for my skin. I got the 400ml bottle and my goodness it is worth the money as you really don't need a lot. And then smell for me is a really calming smell which also helps.  http://uk.loccitane.com/shea-butter-hand-cream--travel-size-,83,1,29776,1030671.htm   I've tried a lot of different hand creams previously and was recommended to try them from here. To say I was impressed was an understatement. It covers so well. You really don't need a lot and it really works on dry hands.  It may seem a bit pricy to some but i think it's worth it for the way it left my hands feeling.  Carmex lip

Not in the best head space.

So turns out I’ve been battling a mental health episode for at least a three months if not longer and I haven’t been aware. Before anyone questions why I didn’t know what was happening it’s because I typically don’t see what’s happening until I’m at a point that someone goes “WE NEED YOU TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE” It builds up slowly and manifests to a point that I’m really in a negative head space. I’ve learnt this time and the hard way that everything that I thought was happening wasn’t. It was my anxiety and grief having a fight off and I was the looser. Not to forget the ruminations of things that might happen or I might do ( some of those thoughts are hard ) Insomnia Panic that I’m seeing things out corner of my eye that aren’t there Negative thoughts - not good enough etc  Real bouts of sadness Not really wanting to eat - snacking  Racing heart Believing things are wrong with me when they aren’t  Those are only a few of the things that I have been dealing with that I am aw

If this week has taught me anything

If this week has taught me anything it’s that the grief monster can hit at any time and totally floor you. That three years feel like just yesterday. And that there is people around to give a hug when needed. So last night in the midst of volunteering it hit me like a ton of bricks. The tears started and it took me a long time to proper calm myself. I’d manage to tell the coach right at the start of the night that i was struggling and that it had been a hard week. That it felt like just yesterday that he’d died and not nearly three years. I’m lucky with the fact that the coach I work with also was my husbands coach so that in itself is a help. I’d managed one class and was more than half way through the second when a shot I threw was called rubbish and one look to the other lady that coaches with me and I was a mess. If I hadn’t of already been sitting on the floor I think I might of ended up there. Luckily for me she also knows my history and shouted on the main coach who got to me