Skip to main content

What I’ve learnt today


   What I learnt today ..................

    That getting out a freshly washed bed is the hardest thing on the planet, especially when it’s been snowing heavy over night and makes it look like mid December not the first full week in February. Silence apart from just a ticking clock is worse during the day than hearing an owl hoot at night and liking in complete darkness.The sound of a clock just goes through you.
    Catching up on tv programmes while curled up on the couch is all well and good but when the screen hits a certain angle and you see your reflection, it REALLY does make you think about the way you look when your looking back at yourself. Those thoughts lasted with me most of the day and resulted in me eating a bar of chocolate as I pondered.
    You should always have a tv programme or music on while dusting. In this case NCIS LA. Playing catch up is the way I seem to be doing things these days.
     Apparently when your struggling with thoughts and not doing anything it is the time to start dusting - I don’t even like dusting.
      Making it out the house to go to fitness class is always a good step. Even if you leave an hour early and end up sitting in the car listening to the radio. The class eventually went ahead but at fast forward speed. Even though I struggled near the end I actually liked the way of it. Will have to see how I am tomorrow.  There is something about coming in and jumping straight in the shower and washing your hair. It feels like a new start to the week, and that you can take on anything.
 
  MASSIVELY fed up with Valentines. It has to be over already it seems like to of been going on forever.
  Panicking about a phone call and not answering it will only lead to your anxieties waving high at you. And then returning the call that you deliberately didn’t answer. (It took a 10min difference between the first and second call)
  Second day reheats ALWAYS taste better than when they are first actually made.
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If this week has taught me anything

If this week has taught me anything it’s that the grief monster can hit at any time and totally floor you. That three years feel like just yesterday. And that there is people around to give a hug when needed. So last night in the midst of volunteering it hit me like a ton of bricks. The tears started and it took me a long time to proper calm myself. I’d manage to tell the coach right at the start of the night that i was struggling and that it had been a hard week. That it felt like just yesterday that he’d died and not nearly three years. I’m lucky with the fact that the coach I work with also was my husbands coach so that in itself is a help. I’d managed one class and was more than half way through the second when a shot I threw was called rubbish and one look to the other lady that coaches with me and I was a mess. If I hadn’t of already been sitting on the floor I think I might of ended up there. Luckily for me she also knows my history and shouted on the main coach who got to me...
Post a Comment
Read more

Not in the best head space.

So turns out I’ve been battling a mental health episode for at least a three months if not longer and I haven’t been aware. Before anyone questions why I didn’t know what was happening it’s because I typically don’t see what’s happening until I’m at a point that someone goes “WE NEED YOU TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE” It builds up slowly and manifests to a point that I’m really in a negative head space. I’ve learnt this time and the hard way that everything that I thought was happening wasn’t. It was my anxiety and grief having a fight off and I was the looser. Not to forget the ruminations of things that might happen or I might do ( some of those thoughts are hard ) Insomnia Panic that I’m seeing things out corner of my eye that aren’t there Negative thoughts - not good enough etc  Real bouts of sadness Not really wanting to eat - snacking  Racing heart Believing things are wrong with me when they aren’t  Those are only a few of the things that I have been dealing wit...
Post a Comment
Read more

When another blog makes you think

       https://the-true-me.co.uk/index.php/2018/06/26/just-be-you/ When I first read this post it spoke so much to me. Being just a couple of years older a lot of what was written could of been written by me but in the female form.  I’ve let so much define me and given myself so many labels that i have lost track of who I truly am and what I am about. Growing up I didn’t fit in and was bullied and let it define me. I have never seen myself as having friends. No one that I could turn to if I just needed a chat.  One label that until eight years ago I didn’t know I had was mental health sufferer, it’s one I’m glad to have now. It doesn’t define me but it is making me start to accept me.  I’ve tried to please everyone without pleasing myself. I hope that choices I make from now on are for me and not everyone else.  Life’s to short. 
Post a Comment
Read more