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Do I know who I am ?


Who am i ? ....................

Do I know who I am ? ..............

Two questions that are subconsciously in my thoughts every day. Since getting diagnosed nearly 8 years ago I thought I had some answers. All the unanswered questions that I need answered. Knowing something wasn’t quite right, the way I managed things day by day.
It gave me the answers but also some more questions as to why things weren’t picked up on sooner.

Two and a half years ago I became a full time career and that was a role that I didn’t question. I just got on with it. But then after he died the unknown started again.
I was a widow, it came with its own self questions. What do I do now? One that has not yet been answered because I REALLY don’t know the answer.

I was a widow at 32. Diagnosed with mental health issues at 27 those are two things I never thought I’d be writing.

For as much as I don’t want my mental health to define me. I feel like some times it does. When you have to explain why you aren’t doing certain things with life. That look.

I feel like I’m holding a broken compass with no idea where to go next or what to do.
How can I feel SO lost and not know what way to take next.

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