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When your head says no



  I’ve been battling so long with packing up the last of mine and my husbands stuff at out flat. I know it needs done but the thought of doing it my head screams no.
  It’s really annoying when you get your head in gear to do something and then with one single thought change you are saying no but can’t explain why you don’t want to do it now. The heart gets heavier and the feeling of sadness just ways you down, but you cant say why you are holding on. It’s not going to change anything.
 There has been other times when I’ve been asked to do things but this wall comes down that is almost like a door with a padlock in my head. Unlocking the door and doing the thing would make me happy but my head looses the key and won’t let me through and so traps me someplace where it just doesn’t feel 100% happy. That the dark cloud over head will get darker and then thunder. Why is the sunshine not allowed?
 It’s taken me till now to feel that maybe I could think about living by myself and not have him around. I’m just waiting for the shutter to come down on that idea as well.
Here’s to a better year. Hopefully


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