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The past few days



  So the past few days have been hard mentally and are taking there toll. On Wednesday it should of been my husbands birthday and as per tradition I went away for a couple of days. It was one of the things that I wasn’t gonna give up on, and I will be going away again for the two year anniversary of his death.
 Some people questioned whether it was the right thing for me to do and in answer to them. Yes I think it was. Yes I may have ate a LOT of the wrong food, paid the effects of it. I may have missed having him with me when I went to see the new Star Wars film (better late than never) and missed him talking about it for the rest of the night. Actually more like the rest of the week.
  I may have gone away by myself but I honestly do think it was what was needed. To have the self care time at the end of each day and buy things that I really didn’t need. BUT to go away was our thing and I wouldn’t change it.
  Mentally it has been hard, grief + anxiety + negativity are a bad combination let me tell you.

  I have also learned again as said further up this blog that when I am on my own and my mood is affected, going for the unhealthy foods is the “norm” for me. I’m so annoyed that I have programmed my body this way. And that I will be paying for the last few days for the next week at least.

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