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A widower at 32



  My name is Kerry and I became a widower at 32.

 That sentence is something that I never thought that I’d be writing yet alone saying. Nearly two year ago I lost my husband at 32 to cancer and a form of pneumonia. It was the second fight against cancer for him in his life time and this one just became to much.
  He was a disabled swimmer (represented Scotland) and a badminton player. So to say he was active was true. But a year before everything happened things started to change and my gorgeous husband started to slow down. Bothered by headaches and struggling to walk for long periods of time. Looking back we should of realised then that something was really wrong.
On the night it all started he starting having seizures (10+) and ended up in the ICU in an induced coma to save his brain from damage. Aftern 48hrs he woke and then came the hard part of telling home where he was and what had happened. Later that week we got the news that the cancer was back and that there was more than one area.
He was sent to a hospital which had a unit that specialised in forms of cancer and there he had an op that for us waiting felt like a life time. Seeing him coming back through the ward on a trolley, groggy  but awake was the first hurdle.
To say he was a special case was an understatement. Two major hospitals didn’t know what type of cancer he had from the results (one of those hospitals was in SAN Francisco. After being spoken about all over the world it was a in the uk that finally thought they new what it was. Rare and not usually seen.
 My darling husband fought the fight for 9 months. He took a turn for the worst one day and I got called in. Sitting in the smallest of rooms to be told it was just a matter of time. There was nothing else that could be done. It was down to his him, his body.
So that night I stayed awake all night watching him. Full of sadness that it had come this way. Nearly seven years of marriage and ten plus years friendship and I was sitting at the bed of my best friend hoping that when it came to it he wouldn’t be in pain.
 Family and friends rallied and I was told to go home and get some sleep while his family sat with him during the day. Tea time i got the phone call that’s was to change everything. Get to the hospital his breathing had changed. In my heart i new that it was time. And that I wasn’t going to get to him before he’d die. ( I should say, when we were on our own the night before I did whisper to him that I would be ok and to go when he was ready) I was met by a member of his family and then his sister who were all in tears. I had been to late. After the initial shock I was surprising calm. Consoling everyone else around me.

Next week should of been his 34th birthday. Love you trouble x


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