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Christmas day - Sarah Millicans #joinin

I have to be honest, going into Christmas Day I was doing so with a heavy heart and not sure of the way he day would be.
If you’ve ready any of my other posts you’ll know that I lost my husband nearly two years ago, so weas going into today with it being the second of him not being around. Secondly I lost my gran last week (the funeral is tomorrow) so that was all to close for all of my family. Needless to say none of us were in the mood for celebrating. Even in our case having a traditional lunch.
As I sat in the morning the pang of not having the two that were missing around was really real. I felt like I was trapped in my body and not able to communicate. That feeling lasted for most of the day but was worst in the morning. It honestly did feel like I had something pulling heavily down on my heart.
Sitting amongst my family and feeling like I could talk more freely on my phone without upsetting anybody. Thats where Sarah Milligan’s #joinin helped today. Being able to send a simple tweet and say how I was feeling when not able to say it out loud really helped. Having my phone light up with people replying to my posts lifted my mood to some end because I knew that I could talk and I wasn’t being judged just offered support from people that were there to be part of something and not feel lonely.
I should say that I suffer from depression, anxiety and ocd and more regularly these days I’ve felt alone within a group / my family so for Sarah to orchestrate the hashtag for today really helped. And I really hope she knows how much.


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