Skip to main content

My mixed up brain - no friends

Ever get those feelings that you have no friends and no one actually wants to see how you are or spend time with you.
I feel like I’ve always struggled to make friends. Right through out school I didn’t have a group of close friends. It was easy for me to walk alone at breaks and lunch. I could disappear from the outer rim of a group chat with no one even noticing.

Tonight as I write this my brain is having the fight me that I have no one. And to be honest it is winning the fight. No one is reaching out to see if I want to do anything or plan anything. And honestly I wouldn’t know who to reach out to to suggest the same.
I guess you could call me a loner and to be honest that makes me sad as I do just wanna know people. Does that sound silly ? Because me reading that back my head is shouting at me telling me it sounds silly. Actually it sounds sad and desperate.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sales/wish list

Like many I will be doing the sales this year. But it won’t be till the end of the week (let’s hope there is stuff left) A girl can dream right, the presents that weren’t received or the things you have your eye on hoping they come down in price. For me going into 2018 there is a few things that I would like to see if they are in the sales or at least within budget due to getting money to spend. I’m going to start a fresh with 10,000 steps a day so a new set of headphones would definitely be needed as the ones I have I spend more time trying to keep them in my ears than listening to anything. I think I would also love a new jumper as I’m known for wearing the same ones until they hole. I so really need to find new things to listen to as well. With a specific present i got I’m wanting to buy a ring that can wear everyday. The money was from my grandparents and we lost my gran the middle of the month. So something to wear that reminds me of her I think might be nice. I used to alw...
Post a Comment
Read more

If this week has taught me anything

If this week has taught me anything it’s that the grief monster can hit at any time and totally floor you. That three years feel like just yesterday. And that there is people around to give a hug when needed. So last night in the midst of volunteering it hit me like a ton of bricks. The tears started and it took me a long time to proper calm myself. I’d manage to tell the coach right at the start of the night that i was struggling and that it had been a hard week. That it felt like just yesterday that he’d died and not nearly three years. I’m lucky with the fact that the coach I work with also was my husbands coach so that in itself is a help. I’d managed one class and was more than half way through the second when a shot I threw was called rubbish and one look to the other lady that coaches with me and I was a mess. If I hadn’t of already been sitting on the floor I think I might of ended up there. Luckily for me she also knows my history and shouted on the main coach who got to me...
Post a Comment
Read more

When another blog makes you think

       https://the-true-me.co.uk/index.php/2018/06/26/just-be-you/ When I first read this post it spoke so much to me. Being just a couple of years older a lot of what was written could of been written by me but in the female form.  I’ve let so much define me and given myself so many labels that i have lost track of who I truly am and what I am about. Growing up I didn’t fit in and was bullied and let it define me. I have never seen myself as having friends. No one that I could turn to if I just needed a chat.  One label that until eight years ago I didn’t know I had was mental health sufferer, it’s one I’m glad to have now. It doesn’t define me but it is making me start to accept me.  I’ve tried to please everyone without pleasing myself. I hope that choices I make from now on are for me and not everyone else.  Life’s to short. 
Post a Comment
Read more