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When you look in the mirror what do you see ? EDITED

When you look in the mirror what do you see? ............... dependant on the mood that can be any number of different things for me. I could see a 34 yr old widow who lost her husband. A female that has curly hair that most woman would love (so I've been told) or dark blond hair, fair skin and blue eyes.

To me I'm a 34 yr old widow missing her husband and finding some days harder than others with the pain of missing him. I see someone that even thow she says she wants to find a new place to live is struggling to get rid of the place that she and her husband shared.
I see someone that has dark circles under her eyes and a double chin. I also see someone that is good at hiding how she is really feeling.
That when the anxiety is bad feels totally out of control and sometimes lets it get on top of her. When the dark cloud comes over my mood can drop and I really just don't want to do anything.
I see someone really wanting to be that little bit fitter but is struggling to find the motivation or the ability to keep with it if I do start something. Someone who has a sweet tooth and buys things sometimes and instantly regrets it but still eats it coz it's there.
I see someone who looks in the mirror and doesn't see the light in her eyes. The emotion feels like it's gone and it's a fight to get the sparkle back.

When you look at someone don't always think that you know what's going on because underneath can tell a whole different story.

Edited. Now when I look in the mirror i see someone that is lost, scared and tired of the fight. I see someone who is absolutely dreading moving on with out her husband and the upcoming anniversary of his death. I see someone that would love to have friends around her and feels so alone in a crowded room.
I wish that my head wouldn’t define its self by labels and make me believe that I’m at the bottom of everything. I wish that people wouldn’t have that look when I tell them that I’m a widow. You are allowed to talk to me as a normal person. I’m not going to burst into tears at the drop of a hat.

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