So I'm just back from a few days away and to say I wasn't expecting my anxiety to flair would be a lie.
Right from the off there were things that were triggering me and I hadn't even left the country yet. Managing the airport was better than I thought. The fact that I'd checked in before hand REALLY helped. But to say I wasn't bothered by the sheer volume of people would be an understatement. (Larger crowds always brings hightened anxiety and makes everything 10x worse)
Me being me I was there with LOADS of time to spare and try and not feel like everyone was staring at me.
Luckily I got the chance to move my seat from in the middle of a three to the window that way I could see outside as well as inward.
Being met at the other end by family was a massive help because as soon as I saw them it felt like a weight had been taken off me and they could now carry it.
I will say that I did manage something pretty massive for me and that was to go out by myself and take a 30+ min walk to where I wanted and not feel completely freaked by it. Don't get me wrong there was times where the heart rate picked up and it could of been an issue but thankfully it didn't result in me phoning family in a complete panic and having to be found and calmed down.
This trip away also reiterated that fact that I don't do well out at night when it's dark. My mind plays tricks and everything within me is on high alert for something happening. So much so that it was commented on that I seemed different within myself for the time that we were in the area that was bothering me.
Running out of your melds and not having a chance to get more and having to substitute for the ones
you were on previously wasn't the best idea but it was the best for what I had.
Overall a good experience
you were on previously wasn't the best idea but it was the best for what I had.
Overall a good experience
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