Skip to main content

2014 vs 2017

" Ever get the feeling that everything is happening around you and your standing frozen in time?? Things happening, lives being lived but yet you feel like yours isn't. Well not the way that you want it to.
Struggling to regain yourself after being diagnosed with mental illness. Feeling like your being held back. Having to rely on other people when all you want to do is live your life. " (me 2014)

There is still part of this that are true now three years later. But there is now grief mixed in with it all and it's just a lotta something. Lol
I now don't feel as much as if time is standing still for me. Don't get me wrong there is times when I do feel like it. But on the whole (touch wood) everything is moving.

"Does mentally ill mean that you are different ?? Is it so back in the dark ages that we can't even speak about it?

IM 30+ and have a mental illness! And will probably always have in some form or other ". (me 2014)

Thankfully now mental health is starting to get spoken about more. Perceived on television and spoken about on social media. There is a new generation of people that aren't just willing to shut up in the corner and not speak about what they are going through.


These two quotes that I found are stirring a whole lotta questions in my head and will probably linger for the next couple of days at least. Whether I get answers to the questions or not.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If this week has taught me anything

If this week has taught me anything it’s that the grief monster can hit at any time and totally floor you. That three years feel like just yesterday. And that there is people around to give a hug when needed. So last night in the midst of volunteering it hit me like a ton of bricks. The tears started and it took me a long time to proper calm myself. I’d manage to tell the coach right at the start of the night that i was struggling and that it had been a hard week. That it felt like just yesterday that he’d died and not nearly three years. I’m lucky with the fact that the coach I work with also was my husbands coach so that in itself is a help. I’d managed one class and was more than half way through the second when a shot I threw was called rubbish and one look to the other lady that coaches with me and I was a mess. If I hadn’t of already been sitting on the floor I think I might of ended up there. Luckily for me she also knows my history and shouted on the main coach who got to me...
Post a Comment
Read more

Not in the best head space.

So turns out I’ve been battling a mental health episode for at least a three months if not longer and I haven’t been aware. Before anyone questions why I didn’t know what was happening it’s because I typically don’t see what’s happening until I’m at a point that someone goes “WE NEED YOU TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE” It builds up slowly and manifests to a point that I’m really in a negative head space. I’ve learnt this time and the hard way that everything that I thought was happening wasn’t. It was my anxiety and grief having a fight off and I was the looser. Not to forget the ruminations of things that might happen or I might do ( some of those thoughts are hard ) Insomnia Panic that I’m seeing things out corner of my eye that aren’t there Negative thoughts - not good enough etc  Real bouts of sadness Not really wanting to eat - snacking  Racing heart Believing things are wrong with me when they aren’t  Those are only a few of the things that I have been dealing wit...
Post a Comment
Read more

When another blog makes you think

       https://the-true-me.co.uk/index.php/2018/06/26/just-be-you/ When I first read this post it spoke so much to me. Being just a couple of years older a lot of what was written could of been written by me but in the female form.  I’ve let so much define me and given myself so many labels that i have lost track of who I truly am and what I am about. Growing up I didn’t fit in and was bullied and let it define me. I have never seen myself as having friends. No one that I could turn to if I just needed a chat.  One label that until eight years ago I didn’t know I had was mental health sufferer, it’s one I’m glad to have now. It doesn’t define me but it is making me start to accept me.  I’ve tried to please everyone without pleasing myself. I hope that choices I make from now on are for me and not everyone else.  Life’s to short. 
Post a Comment
Read more