Skip to main content

Mental health and feeling alone


Something that I have always struggled with and I think I’m not alone with it. Is that with having mental health problems comes a feeling of being alone. The negative thoughts in my head telling me that I’m no good to be around, that no one wants to be friends.
I see other people with friends around them and yet I feel like I have no one to turn to. With my thoughts telling me that my issues would cause a problem and that’s why no one has stayed around. I repel rather than attract people.
The fear of saying the wrong thing and being judged is also an issue that ‘haunts’ my thoughts.
Anxiety, fear and low episodes. Being quiet, struggling to communicate and not a lot of interaction sum up me.
What I wouldn’t take to have people around to talk to. To distract me. And to except me for me and know that if I go quiet it’s probably an internal fight going on in my head.
Doing things that could be done with friends but I’m going by myself or with family isn’t the same. Sitting by myself in the pub while I have lunch and watching everyone else sitting chatting just makes the alone feelings even more strong. Not having anyone text or get in touch via social media asking if I wanna do something or how am I, is hard. (Anyone local)

It sounds so silly rereading what I’ve written but it is the way my head is

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sales/wish list

Like many I will be doing the sales this year. But it won’t be till the end of the week (let’s hope there is stuff left) A girl can dream right, the presents that weren’t received or the things you have your eye on hoping they come down in price. For me going into 2018 there is a few things that I would like to see if they are in the sales or at least within budget due to getting money to spend. I’m going to start a fresh with 10,000 steps a day so a new set of headphones would definitely be needed as the ones I have I spend more time trying to keep them in my ears than listening to anything. I think I would also love a new jumper as I’m known for wearing the same ones until they hole. I so really need to find new things to listen to as well. With a specific present i got I’m wanting to buy a ring that can wear everyday. The money was from my grandparents and we lost my gran the middle of the month. So something to wear that reminds me of her I think might be nice. I used to alw...
Post a Comment
Read more

If this week has taught me anything

If this week has taught me anything it’s that the grief monster can hit at any time and totally floor you. That three years feel like just yesterday. And that there is people around to give a hug when needed. So last night in the midst of volunteering it hit me like a ton of bricks. The tears started and it took me a long time to proper calm myself. I’d manage to tell the coach right at the start of the night that i was struggling and that it had been a hard week. That it felt like just yesterday that he’d died and not nearly three years. I’m lucky with the fact that the coach I work with also was my husbands coach so that in itself is a help. I’d managed one class and was more than half way through the second when a shot I threw was called rubbish and one look to the other lady that coaches with me and I was a mess. If I hadn’t of already been sitting on the floor I think I might of ended up there. Luckily for me she also knows my history and shouted on the main coach who got to me...
Post a Comment
Read more

When another blog makes you think

       https://the-true-me.co.uk/index.php/2018/06/26/just-be-you/ When I first read this post it spoke so much to me. Being just a couple of years older a lot of what was written could of been written by me but in the female form.  I’ve let so much define me and given myself so many labels that i have lost track of who I truly am and what I am about. Growing up I didn’t fit in and was bullied and let it define me. I have never seen myself as having friends. No one that I could turn to if I just needed a chat.  One label that until eight years ago I didn’t know I had was mental health sufferer, it’s one I’m glad to have now. It doesn’t define me but it is making me start to accept me.  I’ve tried to please everyone without pleasing myself. I hope that choices I make from now on are for me and not everyone else.  Life’s to short. 
Post a Comment
Read more