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Body confidence


A topic that everyone seems to have an opinion on. But more so during January and getting ready for summer holidays.
 I have always had issues with my body “if only my boobs were smaller or my tummy was flatter” to name but a couple of issues but over the last few weeks I have caught myself looking at weight loss and things that would help it. But also the fact that if I really did start watching what I was eating it could go the other way in the form of disorders and that freaked me out. The fact that I could be standing in the middle of a chop looking at things that might “help” yet in my head freaking out about it at the same time.
  Now I have never been a small girl. I’m a size 18/20 - 22/24 dependant on the cut of some clothes. And 5ft 9 in height so not the best of mixes. It has taken me until now to get semi comfortable with the size of clothes that I have to buy. But there is always the doubting part of me that questions whether i look ok. When the other part of me is trying to shout so loud to say yes. I look at brands and think that stuff is nice but then you realise that it doesn’t go up to my size. And there is part of me that gets down about it because my body isn’t even allowed to try something on that might look good in.
  I look at what young girls / teenagers growing up now are told from social media, friends etc and I’m glad that I am not of this generation. That being a certain size and dressing certain ways are normal for the world that we live in.
 Yes I’m never going to be thin but I could me more toned I accept that. I will always have a sweet tooth that seems to take control more when I’m down or my mental health is an issue. And I love my food, that is never going to change.
 We live in a world where being a bigger girl means you are branded fat and told by professionals that you’d be better if you were to loose some weight. Yet the prices of the healthier foods are more expensive that th unhealthy foods.
It is all a vicious cycle, most of it for me is negative.

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