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Over thinking - it has cost me

I’ve always been an over thinker. It’s who I am. But see since I ended up on my own again it’s back worse than ever. It’s got to a point that I’m not even aware I’m doing it.
But since I got pulled up by a couple of friends about doing it it has 1. Made me more negative about myself and the way I am perceived and 2. Made relationships different.
The negative part that fights with me tells me that because I’m widowed that no one wants to be friends. That new or old my over thinking about how I’m seen will and has cost me. That I have a sign above me that warns people away and that I constantly feel like I have to apologise for being me. Because my stupid over thinking brain tells me I’m not good enough.
Relationships have always been an issue. I struggle to feel accepted when someone looking at what I have and who I am might think that I’m doing ok. My inner voice is mega phone shouting but your not good eneough for there friendship that your meant to be alone.
My over thinking may come across as needy and cost me friends and for that I will always be annoyed about. And I know I need to work on it.

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