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I’m not in the Christmas spirit


This year is turning out to be a hard one mentally for me in regards to the run up to Christmas.

It’s the first in my new place and it really doesn’t seem right to get everything out for Christmas. I’m struggling with it being just me. Since my hubby died I’ve had the last two christmases at my parents. So having the run up and actualnday with them. This year it being just me and a lot of time to think, I’m finding myself struggling with the negative thoughts of being alone at Christmas.
I have a party next week and for the fact that I’m going I know I won’t last the whole night and will end up in bed early ( I’m staying at the place )

I’ve always had the tradition of watching A Muppets Christmas Carol more than once but even the thought of that actually makes me sad this year and I really wish it didn’t. I wish that my flat felt like it was Christmas instead of just rooms. I wish that I felt like getting in the spirit. Instead of mentally fighting my dip in mood.

I’m actually dreading the cards coming through the letter box.

Let’s see what the month holds. It may be a fight.

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