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A girl can dream


A girl can dream right.

In an ideal world I would be working, getting ready for Christmas and working on selling my art.
In reality I’m taking a course to help with my anxiety, self confidence. I’m not looking forward to the first festive season in my new place because that definitely means life is moving on without him. And as for selling my art, I’ve ordered more cards and should really work on the Facebook page I set up to show what I do.
I’m writing this with a smokers cough ( I don’t smoke ) trying to think of present ideas to tell the in-laws and wishing that someone would just give me a hug.

Self doubt is a horrible thing / a hard thing. Low confidence / belief in yourself. Is a constant battle even with the simplest of tasks. Trying to tell myself that my art is good is hard even though I’ve done a few commissions and now got one of my canvases as a card.
In another life I would be shouting it for everyone to hear that I am creative and that is what I do.

I wouldn’t of been a widow at 32 and maybe had kids. Instead alone at 35. A girl can dream.

But it’s just a dream and the fight is real.

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