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A light bulb moment

It’s 00:02 and it has actually just sit me why it’s always this time of night before I settle down to try and sleep.

My hubby had the first lot of seizures in bed. We were settling down to go to sleep when it happened. To get past that point of time at night and see that nothing is gonna happen seems to be the go to thing now.
My bed doesn’t feel truley inviting now. It doesn’t feel like a place I wanna spend any time at all.
I don’t want it to be a place I don’t wanna be. I wanna feel like it’s a place of refuge with the nights getting colder / darker etc. When I wanna just spend some time in bed instead of face the world without my subconscious brain deciding that I don’t have to sleep until the next day.
It’s needs to be my space and not just have the bad memories of that fateful night when the paramedics came into our bedroom.

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