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16/10/2010

Next Monday should of been my 7 year wedding anniversary. Yet I bacame a widow just before my 6th. To say I’m not looking forward to Monday is an understatement.
My beautiful husband lost a long hard 9 month battle with cancer. (His second time of having it) and to say I don’t miss him every day is an understatement.

Mentally I don’t know if I’m ready for yet another thing that he isn’t here for. People say that the 1sts are the hardest. The first year without him, anniversary’s and birthdays etc. But I have to say for as much as they were hard it’s the 2nds that I find more hard. The realisation that that’s the way thing are gonna be from now on.

Self care is definitely gonna be happening on Monday but as to what I haven’t decided. I have to look after me.

šŸ’œ you J x

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